Waiting for permission to participate in the world
Sharing our work is an awesome thing to do
68 views around the world

Waiting for permission to participate in the world

Maybe breaking disability stigma isn’t only about asking society to see us differently.

Last week, I found myself watching a TikTok video posted by a mother called Ellie, who runs the account @ellieg170, and I genuinely couldn’t stop thinking about it. The video featured her young son, Isaac, a 9-year-old boy who has a stammer and who, as part of an effort to build his confidence, had decided to design and sell his own bookmarks online: https://ihdesigns17.myshopify.com/collections/all).

He was putting his work out there, asking people to support him and, in doing so, deliberately stepping outside the comfort zone that his stammer might otherwise have created for him. I sat there thinking: How brilliant is that?

What struck me wasn’t simply the fact that a 9-year-old had started a little business – children are remarkably entrepreneurial when you give them the opportunity – it was the attitude behind it.

Here was a young boy who could quite easily have allowed his stammer to become something that defined him, something that made him retreat from situations where he might have to speak or worry about what other people thought. Instead, he was doing precisely the opposite. He was putting himself out there, allowing people to see him, hear him and potentially judge him, and he was doing it anyway. To me, that is where breaking the disability stigma really begins.

We spend a great deal of time talking about what disabled people cannot do, and, understandably, there are very real barriers that need to be challenged. Society is not always accessible, inclusive or particularly thoughtful, and sometimes the problem genuinely isn’t us; it’s the environment around us. However, I also think there is a danger of becoming trapped in a constant conversation about limitation, exclusion and everything other people are doing wrong. If we’re not careful, we can end up allowing the stigma we are trying to dismantle to occupy far too much space in our own minds.

I’m not suggesting that disabled people should simply “get over it”. Quite the opposite. We should absolutely call out discrimination, inaccessible environments, ignorance and the ridiculous assumptions that are still made about us. Nevertheless, alongside demanding change from society, I think there is something incredibly powerful about demonstrating, through our own lives, just how much more complicated disability is than the stereotypes surrounding it.

Isaac selling his bookmarks reminded me of this.

He wasn’t waiting for the world to become perfect before he started living his life nor was he waiting until his stammer disappeared to feel completely confident or until everybody around him understood what he needed. He had found something he wanted to do, and he was doing it while being exactly who he was, and there is something deeply rebellious about that.

For many disabled people, confidence doesn’t magically arrive one morning. You don’t wake up and suddenly stop caring about being stared at, misunderstood or underestimated.
Sometimes confidence is built precisely by doing the things that make you uncomfortable. You speak even though your voice might shake. You travel even though you might get lost. You start a business even though people might underestimate you. You apply for the job even though you’re wondering whether the employer will see your disability before they see your abilities.

You do it anyway.

And perhaps that’s one of the most effective ways of challenging stigma: by becoming difficult to stereotype.

I’m a woman with low vision, and I know what it’s like to have people make assumptions about what I can and cannot do. There are times when I have felt angry about it, and there are certainly times when I’ve wanted to scream at society for making me explain myself yet again. However, I’ve increasingly realised that I don’t want my life to become a permanent argument with people who don’t understand disability.

I’d rather show them.

I’d rather travel, create, work, make mistakes, embarrass myself, get lost, laugh about it and carry on.

I’d rather build a life that makes someone’s assumptions about disability look ridiculous because, ironically, sometimes the most powerful response to someone who thinks your disability makes you incapable is not an argument, it’s evidence.

This is particularly important when we talk about entrepreneurship. There is still an outdated image of disabled people as passive recipients of support: people who need assistance, protection and accommodation, rather than people who can create, lead, employ others, build businesses and take risks. Yet disability does not erase ambition. It doesn’t remove creativity, intelligence, determination or the desire to succeed.

Isaac understood something that many adults take years to learn: your difference doesn’t have to be the end of your story, it becomes part of the reason you find your voice.

And perhaps that’s the lesson I took from watching Ellie’s video. Yes, we should continue demanding a more accessible and inclusive society. Yes, we should challenge discrimination when we encounter it. Yes, we should call out people and organisations that exclude us. However, we also have to be careful not to give other people’s ignorance so much power that it determines how we see ourselves.

There is a fine line between demanding accountability and becoming consumed by resentment.

I’ve been on both sides of it.

I’ve complained about inaccessible places and been frustrated by people who over-help me, underestimate me or make assumptions about what I can do. I’ve felt excluded, angry and exhausted by having to explain myself. Those feelings are valid. Nevertheless, at some point, I have to decide what I want to do with them.

I can spend my life waiting for everybody else to change or I can start changing the narrative myself.

Perhaps that’s what I found so inspiring about a 9-year-old boy designing bookmarks. He wasn’t waiting for permission to participate in the world. He was participating in it.

Maybe breaking disability stigma isn’t only about asking society to see us differently.

Maybe it’s also about refusing to see ourselves through the narrow lens society has handed us.

We are not inspirational simply because we are disabled. We don’t need medals for getting out of bed, and we certainly don’t need to be congratulated for existing. However, there is something genuinely inspiring about anyone who looks at the limitations placed in front of them and thinks, Right. What can I do with this?

That is the attitude I want to see more of.

Not because disabled people should have to prove their worth, but because we deserve to experience the extraordinary freedom that comes from discovering our own capabilities.

To Isaac for sharing his journey through @ellieg170, I hope you realise that your little business is about far more than bookmarks. You’re showing people that confidence doesn’t necessarily come before you take the leap; sometimes, the leap is what creates the confidence.

Keep designing.

Keep selling.

Keep stammering.

Keep putting yourself out there.

And keep showing the world that disability may be part of your story, but it doesn’t get to write the ending.

SEA FOR ALL 2026

A sea of possibilities

No Comments

A sea of possibilities without barriers—that’s right A sea of possibilities without barriers—that’s right! The…

Read More

Chief Editor

1 Comment

  1. Great article – thanks! I’ve used a wheelchair for 43+ years since an SCI at 19yrs of age. I went back to Uni, got a job, worked for 30 yrs, travelled the world for work and leisure, and can relate to pretty much everything you’ve written! If I’d waited for the perfect conditions, I’d still be waiting! Attitude, perseverance, support from many many folk thru time and around the world has resulted in a pretty great life – not easy but “wow! what a ride it’s been so far!”

Please leave a comment below

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.