The Strongest Leaders Know When to Ask for Help
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The Strongest Leaders Know When to Ask for Help

Today wasn’t meant to become a lesson in leadership. It was simply an errand.

I needed to collect something from the other side of Parco Sempione. I had exhausted every option. I even tried arranging a courier, but it wasn’t possible. The weather forecast warned of strong winds and possible storms. I wondered whether I should postpone the trip. Then the bus arrived.

As someone living with the effects of a stroke, every journey carries an invisible calculation. How much energy will this require? Will the transport really be accessible? What happens if something unexpected occurs? The bus proudly displayed that it was accessible for disabled passengers. It wasn’t.

Before I had found my footing, the driver pulled away. With only half of my body working properly, I found myself caught between falling and desperately gripping the nearest seats. I stayed upright, but it was a reminder that accessibility is often promised more readily than it is delivered.

By the time I reached my stop, the weather had changed dramatically. I crossed the roundabout and several streets towards my destination. At the final crossing, everything happened at once.

The Strongest Leaders Know When to Ask for Help
Jennifer Tonin, author and board member at Accessible Travel Press

Roots down

A violent gust of wind swept through the intersection. Objects flew through the air. A tree came crashing down. I stopped.

Years ago, during Reiki training, my teacher shared a simple phrase that has stayed with me ever since: “Roots down.” Become grounded. Without thinking, I did exactly that. Standing in the middle of the crossing, I focused entirely on remaining upright. Cars stopped. I later realised I had unintentionally halted the traffic, although I was safely within the pedestrian crossing.

Within moments, two complete strangers ran towards me.

Do you need help?

One was a young businessman riding an e-scooter. The other was a young woman who had been sitting outside a nearby café. Neither asked what had happened. Neither questioned why I was there. They simply asked, “Do you need help?” For perhaps the first time in my professional life, answering “yes” felt completely natural.

Together, they guided me safely across the road. The young woman continued walking with me all the way to the shop because she sensed I wasn’t quite ready to continue on my own. I don’t think she will ever know what that meant to me. On the return journey, I noticed something had shifted inside me. I found myself asking other people if they could help me cross the road. Oddly enough, I didn’t feel vulnerable. I felt stronger.

There is a misconception in business that resilience means enduring everything alone. We celebrate people who never ask for assistance, who appear endlessly capable, who somehow carry every burden without showing strain. But that version of resilience is exhausting. And, in many cases, unsustainable. The leaders I most admire are not the ones who pretend to be invincible. They are the ones who are comfortable saying: 

Building trust

“I don’t know.”

“I need support.”

“Can you help me?”

Those three sentences build trust far faster than pretending everything is under control.

Eventually I reached the return bus, which was thankfully stationary. I carefully lifted myself aboard and found a seat. I sat there feeling quietly proud. Not because I had conquered a storm. Not because I had proven anything to anyone else. But because I had continued despite uncertainty, accepted kindness without embarrassment, and discovered that vulnerability had made me stronger rather than weaker.

As if the day wanted to leave me with one final lesson, an elderly woman sitting nearby struck up a conversation. “My mum had a stroke,” she told me. “She lived until she was ninety-six.” Then she smiled. “Don’t ever give up.” Those words have stayed with me ever since.

The Strongest Leaders Know When to Ask for Help

We often talk about leadership as strategy, execution and performance. Perhaps we should talk more about humanity. The people who stopped for me today will probably never know my name. Yet they demonstrated leadership in its purest form.

They noticed. They cared. They acted. No meeting. No title. No authority. Just kindness.

In a world that often rewards speed, perhaps our greatest strength is learning to move at the pace that allows us to see one another. Sometimes resilience looks like standing firm against the wind. Sometimes it looks like accepting a helping hand.

The wisest leaders know the difference.

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